Where Are The Stones:
There were three preachers: a Catholic, a Baptist, and a rabbi.

They are all fishing out in the lake when all of a sudden the Baptist has to go to the bathroom.
So he gets up and walks across the water and comes back the same way.

Then all of a sudden the rabbi has to go so he gets up and walks across the water
does his business and comes back.

Then the Catholic has to go but when he gets out he falls into the water, so he swims back,
gets back into the boat, looks up, and says, "God, let me walk across the water."

Then he tries again and falls into the water, so he swims back, tries again and he falls again.

The Baptist leans over to the rabbi and says,
"Do you think we should tell him where the stepping stones are?"

Who’s Dumb:
A scientist gets on a train to go to New York.
He is in a cabin which also has another person, someone who seemed stupid.
To pass the time the scientist decides to play a game with the guy.

So he says “I will ask you a question and if you get it wrong, you have to pay me 1 dollar,
and then you ask me a question, and if I get it wrong, since you're so stupid, I'll pay you 0 dollars!”

The guy agrees and so they keep asking questions, and of course, the scientist always gets t
he question right, and the peasant gets it wrong, they play for 3 rounds,
and then its the stupid persons turn.

He asks, “What has three legs, takes 10 hours to climb up a palm tree, and 10 seconds to get down?”

The scientist is confused and spends 3 days contemplating on the question.

Finally, the train ride is coming to the end of the trip.
The scientist takes out 10 dollars and gives it to the guy.

He says “ I don't know, what has 3 legs, takes 10 hours to get up a palm tree
and 10 seconds to get down?”

The peasant takes the 10 dollars and puts it into his pocket.
He then takes out 1 dollar and hands it to the scientist.
He shrugs, 'I don't know,either!'

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Eating Peanuts:
A preacher visits an elderly woman of his congregation.
As he sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the coffee table.

"Mind if I have a few" he asks.

"Not at all," the woman replied.

They chat for an hour and as the preacher starts to leave, he realizes that instead of eating
just a few peanuts, he emptied most of the bowl.

"I'm totally sorry for eating all your peanuts, I really meant to eat a few.
Please let me purchase you some more."

"Oh that's all right" the woman says.
"Ever since I lost my teeth, all I can do is suck the chocolate off them."

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Blonde And Patrolman:
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting!

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver, "PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

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Blonde: Yes! No!:
There were a blonde and a brunette driving and the brunette asks the blonde,
"Go check my blinker!"

"Does it work?"

Blonde: "Yes!" "No!" "Yes!" "No!" “Yes!” “No!” “Yes!”

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